How to Handle Conflict, Part 3: Receiving Correction with Grace

In Part 1 of this series, we explored the why behind godly confrontation. We learned that true friends speak the truth in love—even when it wounds—because they care more about our holiness than our comfort. Proverbs 27 taught us that faithful are the wounds of a friend, and Luke 13 reminded us of Jesus’ grief over those who resist His messengers and correction.

In Part 2, we focused on how to give correction in a way that reflects the heart of Christ—courageous, clear, compassionate, and patient. We saw that giving a godly rebuke means speaking with love, humility, and gospel hope, always aiming for restoration and growth.

Now in Part 3, we turn the mirror toward ourselves. What happens when we are the ones being corrected? How do we receive hard words without becoming hard-hearted? How do we respond to confrontation with humility instead of hostility?

How to Receive a Godly Rebuke

Most of us aren’t naturally good at this. Being corrected can stir up defensiveness, pride, shame, or even anger. But Scripture calls us to receive rebuke not as an attack—but as an invitation to grow.

Here’s how to walk that path:

  1. Expect It

If you’re truly following Christ, expect loving correction from others. We all have blind spots. We all have areas of weakness we can’t see without help.

  • “Let a righteous man strike me—it is a kindness; let him rebuke me—it is oil for my head; let my head not refuse it.” (Psalm 141:5)
  • “Exhort one another every day… that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin.” (Hebrews 3:13)

If no one in your life ever speaks correction to you, that’s a sign something may be off—either you’re closed off to feedback, or you’re not in deep enough community to allow for candor.

  1. Examine It

Our instinct is to push back. But instead of defending yourself immediately, pause and consider.

  • Is it true?
  • Even if only part of it is accurate, what does God want to show me through this?
  • Have others said similar things to me before?

Don’t evaluate the rebuke based on the perfection of the messenger or the tone they used. God often uses imperfect people to speak His truth into our lives. Ask Him for eyes to see what you’ve missed.

  1. Engage It

Don’t just silently receive it—respond with humility.

  • Thank the person for their courage and care.
  • Ask clarifying questions: “Can you help me understand where you see that pattern?” or “What would change look like in your view?”
  • Let them know you value their input, even if it’s hard to hear.

As Proverbs 12:1 says, “Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but whoever hates correction is stupid.” James 1:19 reminds us to be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger.

If someone took a relational risk to help you grow in Christ, honor that.

  1. Employ It

Receiving rebuke is only fruitful if it leads to real change.

  • Confess sin where needed.
  • Ask forgiveness from those you’ve hurt.
  • Take concrete steps to grow. Ask others to help hold you accountable.
  • Don’t hold a grudge or nurse resentment—apply what was true and release the rest.

Remember Exodus 18:24—Moses listened to Jethro’s counsel and changed course. The entire nation benefitted. When we receive correction well, it doesn’t just shape us—it strengthens the whole body.

Why This Matters for Disciple-Making

Paul Tripp warns that “privatism is rampant in the church.” Many Christians live in polite, surface-level relationships. But polite distance doesn’t make disciples—loving honesty does.

We need relationships that challenge us to become more like Jesus. That means being open to rebuke. It means viewing correction not as rejection, but as God’s grace at work in us through others.

Ultimately, Jesus is our model. He speaks with perfect candor. He tells us the truth we’d rather not hear: We are sinners in need of grace. But He doesn’t stop there—He goes to the cross to save us from those very sins.

That’s the kind of love we’re called to reflect—truth-telling love that confronts to restore, not condemn.

 

Final Reflection Questions:
  • Who in your life has permission to speak with candor?
  • When was the last time you asked someone to help you “see yourself”?
  • How can you grow in both humility to receive and love to confront?

Whether you’re giving correction or receiving it, your goal is the same: to help others (and yourself) grow in Christlikeness. This is the essence of disciple-making. Not comfort. Not convenience. But Christ—formed in us and in one another.

Let’s be disciples who make disciples—even in the uncomfortable conversations.